A collegue of mine hates Marmite. She loathes it with a passion that the rest of us would reserve for bigger things like screaming children in a supermarket, herpes, the return of Big Brother on C4, Eurovision and Donald Rumsfeld.

So naturally I signed her up to the Marmite fan club mailing list.

And, just as naturally, she made sure to copy me in on her answers to their recent questionnaire

Dear Marmite Lover,

Those clever chaps at our factory in Burton are toying with the idea of launching a squeezable version of the black stuff - and they need your help to make sure they get it right.

If you could answer the questions below as fully as possible and email them back to us you will be the proud owner of our eternal gratitude. And if that weren't enough, the best entry will win a tour of the Marmite factory. Now you can't get that in the shops.

1. What are the good and bad things about Marmite's current jar? That it has Marmite in it.

2. Do you think that launching a squeezable version of Marmite would be a good idea? Why? No, because it would have the consistency of a snail without the taste or charm.

3. What do you think would be the advantages of having a squeezable version of Marmite? That you could throw it down the drain more easily.

4. When might you use squeezable Marmite? Why then? When I hated someone. So I could watch them writhe in the snail-goo in agony.

5. What should it look like? Red, with tomatoes and vinegar, no yeast. A bit like ketchup.

posted at 8:51 AM
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It's family reunion day. We've been gearing up for this for months. These are the senior members. All cousins but you can still see the similarities. We all went home vowing to work on the research for those family trees.



For the record I am not in the photo. I am taking it.
And I'm basically posting this to test linking to my Flickr account.

posted at 8:51 AM
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Today is the day. 28 years after the first film, George Lucas is putting us out of our misery with the release of Revenge of the Sith (thuch a thilly title)

If you're one of those people who thinks Yoda is a kind of cheese and JarJar Binks must be some type of kitchen utensil, here's a survival guide:


Grocery Store Wars | Join the Organic Rebellion - from the same people who bought you the Meatrix

Nathan Sawaya | The Art of the Brick™ | Han Solo in Carbonite - Lego and Star Wars have always had a close relationship. I figured nothing could get weirder than this until....

...Kinder Eggs got in on the act: Star Wars:Attack of the Hippos???

STAR WARS ASCIIMATION - this has been in production since 1997. To date, they've got as far as rescuing Princess Leia.

Meanwhile last Friday's USA Today's Hot Sites did a Star Wars special which naturally includes some of the more unusual fan sites.

For some reason they overlooked the Star Wars Last Supper

StarWarsShop.com - Slave Leia Pet Costume - yeah, you read it right.

If all this has changed your mind and inspired you to bunk off work to see what all the fuss is about Geek Squad are here to help you.

And lastly, find out who is your Star Wars twin

OK, you might be right about the kitchen utensil.

Labels: geek, lego

posted at 9:26 AM
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Overheard in New York - to be honest you can overhear comments like this anywhere:
Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says "Train for jobs in beeyotch."
Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?

It's just a bonus that this is coming from a bunch of smartass Noo Yawkers.

posted at 11:05 AM
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Every week I try to do part of my commute on foot rather than via the Tube. At present my walk takes me past some of the nicer parts of central London, including St Paul's Cathedral, Guildhall, The Tate Modern, Gabriel's Wharf and The Oxo Tower. On good days - if I'm early enough for things to still be open - it also means I can stop off to check out anything that looks interesting.

This evening I had a chance to see the latest art exhibition at the Oxo Tower gallery. Apart from being free - a big plus - it's a very accessible space (or at least that's what pretentious art critics would call it). On display at the moment is The Art of Keisuke Kishi a Japanese artist with a very weird but oddly captivating world view.

All his 3D figures, such as Ministry of Mystic Machines are handmade with a special type of clay and are individually hand-painted. Their sizes vary from 10cm to 110cm. Viewers will be mesmerized by the precise and minute detail on these figures. In these works Kishi successfully combines traditional Japanese images and objects from the Edo period (17th-19th century in Japan) with his own imaginative ideas to create a complex yet refined mixture of human beings and period objects in a futuristic setting.

(some of them are also pretty creepy)

Since the exhibition is only on for another 12 days, I decided to find out where else I could see his work. However, having hunted for an evening I found that there's not much available online.

He has his own web site (also called The Art of Keisuke Kishi). In addition there are several online profiles, a few galleries who sell his work, (but since their sites are in Japanese I can't be certain of that) other artists whom he has influenced (not bad given that he's barely 30) and a couple of London-based bloggers who, like me, have seen the exhibition and think it's amazing.

Keisuke Kishi - Awardees' Profile at MEDIA ARTS PLAZA

more from MEDIA ARTS PLAZA

(even more from them - Kosode no Mushi)

KEISUKE KISHI

The world of Keisuke Kishi

Dream Ranch Inc. - Dream Ranch Artist Gallery ON Line

There's also a good close up of his work on his own site but a lot of the pieces I saw last night that really interested me don't seem to feature anywhere online. So in the end I just gave up and Googled his images - that turned out to give the best result.

posted at 8:27 PM
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Preparing for Emergencies - " In an effort to worry the public and convince them to vote for us again next year, and because George Bush asked us to, this website includes the common sense advice found in the Preparing for Emergencies booklet, and information on what the government is doing to protect the country as a whole. (Hint: we're praying really, really hard.) "

Labels: fuckwittery

posted at 12:36 PM
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eBay item 5578198203 (Ends 08-May-05 09:29:23 AEST) - 9 Holey Kangaroo SCROTUM purses - NO RESERVE ! ! "C'mon mate, we've got 9 real kangaroo scrotum coin purses, each with a very small hole, and we're bloody serious about getting rid of 'em!...We are the original sellers of roo scrotes on Ebay!!"

I'm not sure what worries me more about this - the concept of Kangaroo scrotum purses...

Or the use of the word 'original'.

posted at 2:00 PM
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Tory Policy Generator: "Speech at a press conference by Rt Hon Michael Howard MP
-- CHECK AGAINST DELIVERY --

Good morning. Labour will lie about this policy.

Why do we tolerate CRIPPLES .

There are another 10 million of them every year under Blair.

Every school child would tell you. We have to PENALISE these people.

But how will we pay for it? By sacking all the staff from the National Health Service.

That should get us the middle-aged racist vote, anyway. Did I mention tax deductions for bull terriers? Thank you very much and goodnight.

-- ENDS -- "

posted at 12:10 PM
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Gee, who knew?

I am: 8% Republican.

"You're a complete liberal, utterly without a trace of Republicanism. Your strength is as the strength of ten because your heart is pure. (You hope.)"

Are You A Republican?

posted at 3:06 PM
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The Secret Life of The London Underground

I've been learning a lot of weird stuff recently about the Tube:

Circle Line Party: Circle Line Party Advice Sheet - apparently this crowd run periodic parties on Circle line trains. Their main challenge is not what music to play, but how to avoid getting busted by the LT cops. As they explain on their site:

The party happens in the tunnels, IF WE ARE IN A STATION, OR ON A PLATFORM WE ARE SILENT AND LOOKING INNOCENT, if we are in a tunnel we are discotastic.

Given that their last bash ended in a police van, I suspect the ploy is not entirely successful - or adhered to.

On a tamer level, there's also the circle Line Knitting Circle (I promise I am not making this up - honest!)

A lot of this stuff is reported in the vast number of blogs entirely devoted to the art of commuting in central London and to the Tube in particular. This includes recent Bloggie nominee London Underground Tube Diary - Going Underground's Blog. It seems no matter how dreadful your morning commute might be, everyone retains a sneaking affection for the oldest operational underground train system in the world ** and every station has its own story.

It's spawned the world's most famous topographical map (although that's gone through several incarnations) and the real layout looks entirely different. In fact it may change a lot more over the next decade.

Transport for London provides a lot of really useful services on its website. You can plan your journey door-to-door and for some lines you can even check out in real time when your next Tube train will arrive.

I've also just found a really fascinating article about The Underground at War. Most people know that stations doubled as shelters during air raids (growing up in Dagenham, my Dad used the one at Becontree more than once). However not so many know that several of the stations closed not long after the war - and, like little time capsules, they're still down there.

In a slightly different vein, this photographer is gradually working his way above ground along the route of the Circle line, snapping as he goes. Similarly, this group all focus on one location each week, each photographer posting her or her own impressions of it.

It was via the aforementioned Going Underground blog that I found the answer to a question niggling at the back of my mind. Ever been standing on a platform and heard a PA announcement for "Inspector Sands"? He gets around quite a bit doesn't he?

Actually - No, he doesn't

** In case you were wondering the oldest surviving platform is the Hammersmith and City/Circle line platform at Baker street (there's a plaque). What puzzles me is why there's only one platform. I mean, it must have gone somewhere, right?

posted at 11:26 PM
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