Paws for thought

Years ago when I was knee-high to a knee, my parents decided it would be fun to take my year-old brother and me (aged 3) down to Clarence House for the traditional photo: "small child standing next to sentry wearing bearskin" (that's the sentry wearing it, not the child).

40 years ago Clarence House was much the same as it is now except the tenant was different - she was barely even a pensioner in those days. Baby brother and I were significantly different though - he was barely walking and I was woefully ignorant about sentries.

This was unfortunate since it meant that I didn't even realise that the motionless, silent figure standing behind us with a gun was real. Consequently when he suddenly sprang into life the effect was electric.

My Dad - bless him - kept filming and caught the whole thing; I took off like Steve Ovett from the starting blocks and, since I was still holding my brother's hand, he got dragged along too.

I've seen the clip - his feet leave the frame horizontally.

I gather I was still running when I was finally intercepted around the entrance to Pall Mall. The next shot, presumably filmed by my mother, shows my father gingerly walking back up to the sentry whilst holding the pair of us, one under each arm. Although the sentry wasn't allowed to speak he at least had the grace to look mortified. My mother wasn't quite so considerate. Although it's a silent film, judging from the way the camera was shaking, she was laughing her head off.

The experience has left me with a life-long fear of statues, dummies or any kind of life-sized human figures. During a tour around Madam Tussauds, I gripped my mother's arm so hard that she had the bruises for days (ah payback!)

Put me anywhere around larger-than-life figures, and I'm seriously twitchy. It took three visits to get me to the top of this and simply reading this headline on Boing Boing left me mildly disconcerted.

So naturally I was thrilled sh*tless to discover recently that I'm getting this for Xmas.

posted at 9:53 AM
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