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Latest stumbles
Sunday, November 30, 2003
WWF's Polar Bear Tracker -
- Take two polar bears.
- Fit them with GPS tracking devices.
- Add one live feed to your website.
It's another one of those why-did-they-do-that???? ideas that is really rather compelling.
posted at 7:24 PM
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Saturday, November 29, 2003
Evil 2 the Core - Hostile Undergarments for Smiling Professionals - when spitting in your food is not enough....
See this site and start tipping generously.
posted at 7:20 PM
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Friday, November 28, 2003
Adbusters: Buy Nothing Day - participate by not participating
posted at 7:20 PM
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Arcata Eye Newspaper : Arcata Police Log Index - something tells me that this may not actually be penned by the cops thmeselves but it's still horribly addictive.
posted at 12:33 AM
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Thursday, November 27, 2003
BuyIntoHeaven.com: Getting into Heaven has never been easier!
posted at 7:20 PM
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Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Trepanning Village State | Village Centre Trepanning is an advanced 21st Century Pagan society that embraces avant-technology and the cutting edge of science. In order to repeat the scientific breakthroughs of Trepanning outside the village you will need a particle accelerator and a limitless supply of Vanilla Slices.
posted at 7:20 PM
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Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Bad Puns - Get your muds wordled! - does exactly what it says on the tin. Truly excruciating. Labels: says on the tin
posted at 5:29 PM
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Monday, November 24, 2003
Funny.co.uk - Escape From The Wombles Of Hell - time for some silly stuff (we need it - it's Monday). This is vaguely reminiscent of those text-based adventure games that were so popular in the 80's. Only this time "you come to the side of a road with nothing but blind wombles driving "Robin Reliants" constituting its traffic...."
Have fun
posted at 9:39 AM
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Sunday, November 23, 2003
Tantric Teddies - sick and twisted. In other words perfect for a Sunday!!
posted at 6:42 PM
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Saturday, November 22, 2003
Jo's Guide for Americans Visiting Britain - such a pity no-one gave a copy of this to Mr Bush prior to his visit last week.
posted at 6:43 PM
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bluejackQ - The original bluejacking site - I love uncovering unintended uses for new technology - the only problem is that so often the fun is swamped by commercialism as soon as the 'suits' cotton on to it. However, for now this is a rather mischievous use of bluetooth technology
posted at 5:30 PM
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Friday, November 21, 2003
Jargon File - more words, this time for nerds and web users. I found this site shortly after realising that my own web site was suffering from a severe case of link rot
posted at 4:54 PM
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Banished Words List - as a lover of the English language, I particularly appreciate this list. Lake Superior State University maintain a wish-list of words which through overuse or simple superfluity really should be dropped from our lexicon.
However this year the list includes "Black Ice"which a pity since it's only been around for about 40 years (and d I knew the man who invented it).
This site also provides information about the Unicorn Hunters, a rather quixotic band that I wish I could have joined.
posted at 4:40 PM
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n2apartment.com - rather nifty microsite designed by my chum Chris who is keen to sublet his apartment....
posted at 4:34 PM
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Kiss My Freckled Ass Goodbye! - still on the theme of work-dodging (a concept dear to my heart ever since I became my own boss!) this is a collection of resignation letters solicited by the site owners for a book they're writing.
Now I've worked for a few serious @ssholes in my time but they pale into insignificance beside the jerks who are reflected in some of these, very witty letters. This stuff is from the heart.
posted at 4:33 PM
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Web Fire Escape - this is to explain the odd logo that appeared recently in the box on the left of this page. Not that I'm suggesting anyone would ever dare to read this blog from work, but if you are you might find this handy.
This service allows you to specify your own "fire-escape" page or program which will be launched whenever you hit that green button in any blog you're viewing. By default you'll go to Google. Rather useful boss-proofing I think!
posted at 4:24 PM
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Cannot find intelligence - read closely. The link is not broken.
posted at 1:00 PM
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THE MEATRIX - very clever, manages to be both funny and subtly serious. Starts out as an outrageous parody of a certain movie, and then slowly transforms into a very effective expose of battery farming.
posted at 12:07 PM
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By now you've probably worked out that I revel in finding really stupid online personality tests. However I think this one will win the awards for the most soppy test I've seen:
 One step at a time, okay?
What is Your Shakespearian Tragic Flaw? brought to you by Quizilla
posted at 12:03 PM
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and.doxdesk.com: parasite - very useful site. Detects 'parasite' software on your computer. Parasite software is defined as "a program that gets installed on your computer which you never asked for, and which does something you probably don’t want it to, for someone else’s profit." From the site, this includes programs which:
- plague you with unwanted advertising (‘adware’);
- watch everything you do on-line and send information back to marketing companies (‘spyware’);
- add advertising links to web pages, for which the author does not get paid, and redirect the payments from affiliate-fee schemes to the makers of the software (such software is sometimes called ‘scumware’);
- set browser home page and search settings to point to the makers’ sites (generally loaded with advertising), and prevent you changing it back (‘homepage hijackers’);
- make your modem (analogue or ISDN) call premium-rate phone numbers (‘diallers’);
- leave security holes allowing the makers of the software — or, in particularly bad cases, anyone at all — to download and run software on your machine;
- degrade system performance and cause errors thanks to being badly-written;
- provide no uninstall feature, and put its code in unexpected and hidden places to make it difficult to remove.
posted at 11:59 AM
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Periodically I encounter a site that catches my attention and which I want to blog but don't have time to write about. Consequently I end up with a glut of URLs all needing attention. Currently I have drafts going back 4 weeks. So today I'm going to clear the backlog....or some of it anyway
Doors to manual...
posted at 11:51 AM
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Thursday, November 20, 2003
I Want One of Those - Things We Didn't Know - I really like these guys. They've got a sucessful e-business, they've got the best customer service I've EVER come accross and they even encourage their customers to send them stuff like this for their web site.
Sample: "I cannot be hypnotised. I remind the hypnotist of this every Wednesday when I go round his house to wash his car. "
posted at 7:27 PM
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The Times don't bother following this link since I'm only listing it in order to give it my vote for the "Dodgy site of the week" award.
I can just about accept the slightly underhand approach of news sites which let you search their archives but then make you subscribe to their service before seeing any actual articles. After all, they have to get business somehow. However, the Times has gone too far.
At present news sites are a mixture. Some - mostly the ones who have been doing this a long time like the New York Times - just want your data before letting you in. Others want your money. However, most of them are up front about which path you will be taking from the outset.
I just ran a search on the Times website. I got one indifferent hit for my search term (which in itself is disappointing since I was looking for a specific article on that subject which I know they published well before their last indexing run).
The link led me to a page that explained I would have to sign up to read the article. Fair enough - so I filled in 3 screens of data and hit submit. That's when I got the 'money screen' which I promptly cancelled. The information I wanted was not worth it.
Nevertheless I just got an e-mail from The Times telling me that I'd successfully signed up. However it added - "You will be able to use your user name and password for all parts of the site that are behind registration, with the exception of The Times and The Sunday Times online archive and The Times Legal Archive. " - in other words, everything immediately visible on their site.
So basically The Times have just conned me out of my personal details and given me access to exactly nothing.
Cute.
posted at 6:36 PM
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Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Greenwood's Map of London 1827 - I recently saw an exhibition at the British Museum about London in 1753. For me, the most interesting part was an entire wall covered with a vast map of London 250 years ago. This map is only 74 years younger, and anyone who knows the capital well enough will probably find it just as absorbing.
posted at 11:52 PM
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Sunday, November 16, 2003
Your County Councillor - OK, probably not your councillor, but definitely MY cousin (yet another one)
posted at 7:10 PM
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Saturday, November 15, 2003
Who Would Buy That? (auction oddities from all over the web) - at the moment "all over the web" is mostly the "weird stuff" section on Ebay but I'm glad some is doing the public a service by hunting out the good stuff buried amidst the Kangaroo Scrotum purses.
posted at 4:05 PM
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7 reasons not to mess with a child
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
********************
Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
********************
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill..."
********************
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
********************
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael , He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "
********************
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
********************
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
posted at 2:26 PM
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Friday, November 14, 2003
Suggested pre-match rituals for the rugby world cup!
Following complaints made to the IRB about the New Zealand 'All Blacks' being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the 'Haka' before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.
The IRB Rugby World Cup 2003 Organising Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:
a.. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone still thinks New Zealand are the best team in the world.
b.. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.
c.. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.
d.. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh suggestion following representations from the Animal Protection Society.
e.. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed by the match stewards.
f.. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.
g.. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called 'Saving No.8 Lyle'.
h.. Five of the Canadian team will sing "La Marseillaise" and hold the rest of the team to ransom.
i.. The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female stewards and then run away.
j.. The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then claim that it was all in line with European "grass quotas". They will then curl up under the posts and siesta until half time, when their appeal for compensation against the UK Government will be heard.
k.. The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good salaries to the key opposition players and then run around the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).
l.. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park trucks across the halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half (much to the delight of Wales!) and burn the officials.
m.. The Australians will smoke a joint, drink a six pack whilst firing up the barbie before offering to give the opposition a twenty point start and a choice of changing the game to any sport of the oppositions choice, have an unassailable lead by half time and head off to the pub to watch their victory live on TV with a Bundy in their hand.
GO AUSSIES !!
posted at 1:01 PM
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Angelfire | Error - for a change some 404 error messages with wit. Just keep releaoding to view the different versions eg "This page has gone to California to find itself", "Uh oh - looks like your cat can't type..."
posted at 11:45 AM
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Monday, November 10, 2003
History Today - This Week's History News - interesting weekly digest of history stories in the news.
posted at 11:58 PM
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Saturday, November 08, 2003
AstronomyDaily.com - this is a like a TV guide for the sky. Register your location and get a complete listing of everything worth watching out there for the next few weeks. Early tomorrow the moon is in eclipse and tonight Uranus is "stationary" (no comment).
posted at 4:10 PM
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Wednesday, November 05, 2003
.:: Revelate - Every Bunny was Kung fu fighting ::. - (Flash movie) Crouching Bunny, Hidden Rabbit.... Labels: bunnies
posted at 11:43 AM
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Sunday, November 02, 2003
Newtons Law meet the bastard love-child of Snoopy and Winnie The Pooh.
posted at 1:10 PM
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