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Latest stumbles
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I'm syndicated!
Eagle-eyed readers will spot this odd button  near the top of the page. If you're signed up for a "My Yahoo" home page, click on the button to add headlines from this blog to your pages.
If anyone wants to add them to something else the link is: http://ursanity.blogspot.com/atom.xml
I'll be dead chuffed if you do.
posted at 11:52 AM
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Monday, September 27, 2004
The dread/hope of November election results are looming. Personally I think that the whole world should get to vote for the US President on the grounds that he thinks he rules it anyway (even though he's no idea where most of it is). I believe in "No Invasion Without Representation".
Meanwhile plenty of sites such as * Vote Carrie * are having fun with their own Campaigns, Potus the Hamster is back and there's even a bear in the running....
posted at 10:26 PM
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Sunday, September 26, 2004
Even shorter than a Haiku, The Four Word Film Review outshines the headlines dreamed up by professional film critics. Witty,generally quite accurate and riddled with puns, the current King of Four-Worders is Noncentz who, with over 3,000 entires, just doesn't know when to stop. Who else could sum up "Superman" as "The Great S Cape"?
posted at 9:54 PM
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Saturday, September 25, 2004
OK, I confess - I'm hooked on Naked Mole-Rat Cam - it's all that wall-to-perspex-wall naked mole-rat action.
posted at 10:03 PM
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Friday, September 24, 2004
New York Daily News - Home - Puppy pulls Trigger on dog-killer: "Puppy pulls Trigger on dog-killer
BY MAKI BECKER
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
They call him 'Trigger.'
A brave little puppy who knew he was next after watching his heartless owner shoot three of his six siblings in the head apparently decided e-ruff is e-ruff. The poky little pooch somehow managed to slip his paw on the trigger, blasting his would-be executioner in the wrist.
The tale of horror and vengeance unfolded Monday when, Florida authorities say, Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, of Pensacola decided to get rid of his dog's litter of seven puppies with the help of his .38-caliber revolver. One by one, he began shooting the three-month-old German shepherd-mixed cuties.
Bradford would later tell Escambia County deputies that he was holding one puppy in his left hand and another in his right arm when the one in the left 'began to wiggle, placing its paw on the trigger of the .38-caliber handgun, causing it to discharge into his left wrist,' a sheriff's office statement read.
Trigger, his three surviving brothers, since named Winchester, Remington and Colt, and their mom were taken to an animal shelter.
'It's a very sad story,' said shelter spokesman Bruce Rova. 'These things don't have to happen. If you don't think you can handle a litter, take the animal to the vet to have it spayed or neutered.'
Bradford faces felony animal cruelty charges, a third-degree offense, after he recovers from his wound. As for Trigger, he won't be facing any charges. 'No paw prints were taken off the weapon,' Rova said, 'and he's a juvenile, anyways.'
Originally published on September 10, 2004"
posted at 11:37 AM
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Sunday, September 19, 2004
Ask Aristotle - if you live inthe US it's very easy to check up on the voting records of your elected representatives (if nothing else, their opponents will tell you all the low points almost without prompting). However, in the UK this information is not as acessible unless you're willing to do a bit of digging and understand the intricacies of Hansards.
Therefore I was pleasently surprised to find this useful service from the Grauniad which provides the voting record of every single MP and even allows you to search for your very own weasel by post code (if you happen to have forgotten his name).
posted at 6:24 PM
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Saturday, September 18, 2004
Outside the main entrance to the Houses of Parliament in the UK there's a guy with a gun. A very big gun. Earlier this year I used to walk past him every evening on my way home from work - the hardware makes him look pretty scary.
Admittedly the impression is belied by the fact that he's happy to pose with tourists but on the whole I think scary is a good look for him. If you're going to stand around all day toting an Uzi, I think you're supposed to look a bit menacing. Anyway I'd rather the gun acted as a deterrent rather having to be used.
So I'm getting a bit hacked off by all the usually conservative commentators who have suddenly turned civil rights advocate. They're trying to excuse the antics of the bunch of hoorays who invaded the House of Commons this week. These weren't heroes, these were a group of overprivileged spoiled brats who had just been told that - for once - they weren't going to get their own way and they couldn't charge around the coutryside inhumanely ripping apart the local fauna in order to assert their class superiority.
Their response to this was not to respect a democratic majority - like the rest of us would have to - but to invade the Commons in order to make their point even more forcibly (while their fellows were doing the same outside in a slightly more bloody fashion).
They did this safe in the knowledge that they were not likely to be hurt in the process. They believed that although the guys with guns would come running, and even though the whole of Westminster is on Black Alert, it would be clear that this was just a harmless prank. Luckily for the yahoos, they were right - this time.
But that's putting an awful lot of responsibility on the guys with the guns. The reason the guards are armed is because there's a fair chance that one day the apparent frat-boy racing towards them will actually be a terrorist. It's a tough call if you have to tell the difference.
We armed the guards and told them to protect their charges - it's a bloody cheek to then undermine them like that. And we have no right to complain if next time they do exactly what they've been told to do.
So, if Batman goes visiting Buck House again, I think there's a good chance he'll get his head blown off.
posted at 6:35 PM
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Friday, September 17, 2004
Seen recently on Weasels.info - :
"US Election Report:
Recently, the owner of Weasels.info drove to a weasel community about 10 miles outside a large American city. We asked the population of short-tailed weasels who they were planning to vote for in the upcoming US Presidential Election, the results are as follows (and we guarantee these polls are more accurate than those on CNN).
Weasels planning to vote for George W. Bush - 6%
Weasels who actually have a brain - 94%"
posted at 4:01 PM
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Monday, September 13, 2004
How to start your week with a positive outlook:
1. Open a new file in your PC
2. Name it 'George W. Bush' *
3. Send it to the trash
4. Empty the trash
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of George W. Bush?'
6. Answer calmly, 'Yes' and press the mouse button
posted at 6:22 PM
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
Paper Toys - Paper Cut-Outs - Custom Paper Models at PaperToys.com - I'm amazed at how many of these they're giving away. Some, such as Mount Rushmore are just plain lame (which might explain their inclusion in the free section) but others, such as Angkor Wat, look like they would actually be fun to make.
posted at 11:59 PM
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Saturday, September 11, 2004
Orgasmus online - and they say you Germans have no sense of humour...
Since the whole thing is in German, you may need a hint: button below the blue text for boys, girls use the button below the pink text. The subsequent dialgoue boxes are also in German but since when has language ever been a barrier to good sex? (and/or a good laugh?)
If you're colour blind, push both - you'll get twice the fun.
posted at 6:14 PM
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Friday, September 10, 2004
tiddles.co.uk - tim's badly drawn cat web site - just what the web needs; a badly drawn cat site. However, in contrast, the page design is rather good.
As time goes by, I'm noticing that fewer cats on this site are quite so badly drawn - maybe that is the price of fame (after being featured in USA Today) - not so many bad cat artists wish to risk contributing.
posted at 1:35 PM
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Thursday, September 09, 2004
Sloganator Memorial - let's face it, do you think Democrats would be dumb enough to develop an applet which allows you to add your own slogans to their campaign material?
Thought not.
The real Sloganator lasted only a ahort while before its creators realised they'd spawned a very counter-productive monster. This presentation revisits a few of its highlights.
posted at 10:58 AM
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Dick Cheney Gets His Gay On / In which the hunky veep comes out and confesses that homosexuals are "like, totally yummy": "Bunny-curdling screams were heard throughout the Beltway last week and Laura Bush herself got all flustered and confused as vice president and noted hunk of rabid warmongering neoconservatism Dick Cheney broke ranks with his party of other hunks of rabid warmongering neoconservatives and admitted, in public, that he thinks gay people are, you know, mostly OK.
Sort of. A little. In small doses." Labels: bunnies
posted at 6:22 PM
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004
AuroraWebcam.com - Aurora borealis - The Northern Lights - the webcam is online for about 12 hours from about 5 am UK time (Alaska is about 10 hours behind DST and 9 hours behind GMT) - so you can watch it while you eat your cornflakes.
Althernatively just go look at the gallery which some truly stunning images.
posted at 6:13 PM
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Monday, September 06, 2004
Overheard on the bus:
"Oh, I love Steel Magnolias! Julia Roberts dies in it."
posted at 4:51 PM
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Sunday, September 05, 2004
Answering Machine at the Mental Hospital :-
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hospital.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0-0-0.
If you are bi-polar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up!
posted at 10:09 AM
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Saturday, September 04, 2004
Aaarrrggg.com - ever had to deal with an Uzi-toting Rodent? Here's your chance.
posted at 5:39 PM
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Friday, September 03, 2004
The Room of Doom - if you're like me, you've been to a few Sci-Fi conventions and been deeply impressed by the some of the costumes made and worn by other attendees (or you've considered telling them to get a life).
In contrast, these are costumes made by people who not only have no life, but no talent either.
It's cringe-worthy.
Enjoy Labels: geek
posted at 6:38 PM
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Thursday, September 02, 2004
The Miraculous Winking Jesus - yup, he winked at me too...
...maybe my flies were undone or something......
posted at 6:33 PM
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Broog: Alien Film Critic - I've seen plenty of sites prefaced with the words "imagine an Alien came to earth and met a cow/heard Cherie Blair singing/landed in Iraq....etc. Sadly the opening premise often proves to be the most amusing part of the site.
In this instance the Alien in question goes to the movies - presumably with the ubquitous tub of popcorn - and has a ball. The reviews are amusing and informative but you never forget that Broog ain't from round here.....
A sample from a review of "I Robot":
This is a movie of contradictions. There is so much product placement that the flick occasionally takes on the character of an ad break. The opening sequence touting branded footwear is so desperate as to verge on the tragic, and since it has no consequences in the film, Broog can only assume that the company in question paid through the secondary respiratory orifice for that much up front time. Your critic cordially hopes that the investment cripples their budget for the year and leads to those responsible being sold to him in burlap sacks for use as ballast.
posted at 6:19 PM
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