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Latest stumbles
Thursday, September 26, 2002
Computer One-Liners
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! (groan)
posted at 4:52 PM
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Top Ten Habits of Highly Effective Flamethrowers
Rule 10: Never forget that the person reading your mail is a person, with feelings that can be hurt. If you see the opportunity, hurt them.
Rule 9: Behave online as you do in real life. This way, you can act like a total jerk under all circumstances.
Rule 8: Lurk until you get a feel for what's acceptable in a particular forum or newsgroup. Then leap in and do the opposite.
Rule 7: Be aware of others' time and bandwidth. Never post anything shorter than seven paragraphs. Ensure your sig is at least a screen long.
Rule 6: Make yourself look good online always post your abuse in complete, grammatically correct sentences.
Rule 5: Share expert knowledge. If you know how to push someone's buttons in a forum, send private email to everyone else telling them.
Rule 4: Help keep flame wars under control: lead the charge.
Rule 3: Respect other people's privacy...if you have some dirt about a member of a newsgroup, spread it only via private email.
Rule 2: Don't abuse your power. Flame only those who disagree with you.
Rule 1: Remember: You were a network newbie once, too. You deserved all the flaming you got then. The current batch deserves no less.
posted at 4:50 PM
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A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and pushing the boots just didn't want to go on. By the time she'd got the second boot on, she'd worked up a sweat.
That's when the little boy said, "Mrs. Smith, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier getting them back off and re-put upon the correct feet. That's when the little boy said, "These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue (who wants to swear at a 5 year old boy?) and managed to keep her cool as together they worked 'em back off. He said, "They're my brother's. My mom made me wear them."
Mrs. Smith didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But she mustered up the courage one more time to wrestle those boots on his feet again. "Now," she said, "where are your mittens?"
"I stuffed them in the toes of my boots."
You can send flowers care of the Columbus Sanitarium . . .
posted at 3:57 PM
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Tuesday, September 24, 2002
SquirrelJumper - somebody please follow this link and tell me if this is a hoax or not. Either way it's a neat idea for a service.
posted at 4:34 PM
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Friday, September 20, 2002
STAR WARS ASCIIMATION - Main Page - a project to produce the entire Star Wars movie as ASCII art. They've been doing for 5 years now......
posted at 9:27 PM
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Guess the Dictator or Sit-Com Character so much for being a wise-ass "It wasn't easy, but I won this time. You are player number 742 to have chosen Victor Meldrew from One Foot In The Grave. Victor Meldrew from One Foot In The Grave was a tough one, but I've had a lot of practice. Thanks for giving me something to do. Please visit again soon."
posted at 4:38 PM
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Rate my Kitten - I'm having a bad cat day....
posted at 2:09 PM
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My Cat Hates You - I always knew they exisited. Photos of psycho-kitties from h*ll.....by their owners
posted at 10:53 AM
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Friday, September 13, 2002
Thought for the day: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?"
posted at 2:06 PM
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Sunday, September 08, 2002
Teddy Borg - "Why? Because we can. Because it was either this, or do classwork on a Saturday. Because it would be moderately amusing. Because we have the vain hope that it will attract women."
posted at 7:38 PM
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2000 Alternate Uses for Peanut Butter... and then some. - being a Python fan, I particularly like Number 3181
posted at 7:26 PM
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Thursday, September 05, 2002
Thought for the day: " To get the attention of a large animal, be it an elephant or a bureaucracy, it helps to know what part of it feels pain. Be very sure, though, that you want its full attention".
-- Kelvin Throop, "Analog" Dec 1984
posted at 9:43 AM
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Wednesday, September 04, 2002
worthless word for the day"today's classic wwftd is: absquatulate" - what scares me is that I already knew what that particular one meant.....
posted at 1:13 PM
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